In almost 15 months, I've never taken both girls to the doctor's alone. Well, I have, but the once or twice I did one remained in the carrier, untouched. Chris did a couple of early well visits solo, but since she went back to work we've done them all in the evening so we could have man to man defense (and, let's be honest, we're boring and the pediatrician is a big outing for us...might as well go as a family).
This week she was away for work, so I took both girls for a pseudo well-visit - just flu and polio shots. Now, could I do it again, I would use the same tactic I did when I took them for the 1 year blood draw (+ 100293 extra vials for Quinn for her extra bloodwork for the GI): Bring babies in stroller. Secure babies. Deal with one screaming baby at a time. Have free hands for wallet, keys, et al.
Here's what really happenned:
My mom offered to come with me.
I left the stroller at home.
My mom got a phone call from my brother.
She left the room approximately 9 seconds after the doctor stepped in.
Both started fussing (somewhere around that 1 yr mark, they decided nothing good comes from the lady who sticks things in their ears and legs).
I set Avery on the floor so Quinn could get her shots (seeing as I did Avery first at their bloodwork and she nearly flipped herself out of the stroller screaming while Quinn went). She flipped thefuck out.
Quinn got her shots. And flipped out.
My mom poked her head in to see if everyone was ok. She said something consoling to Avery. I told her Avery hadn't had her shots yet. She returned to her phone call.
I swapped babies.
Avery went from screaming to screaming like she was having something amputated.
Now I put their pants back on, gathered my bag and sweater, and carried two writhing toddlers - still screaming - to the front desk to get our immunization copies and book their 18 mo well visit.
My mom turns up at this point and takes one for long enough for me to get out my keys.
She returns her when her phone started ringing (which caused the receptionist to look for HER phone).
Now with two arms full of now sobbing toddlers, I throw in the towel on putting the appointment in my calendar and jam the little card into my pants pocket after somehow retrieving it from the countertop which is about armpit height.
I open two doors and let myself into the hallway. Sometime between the desk and the door my mom has hung up the phone. Excellent. She can carry one to the car.
Then her phone rings again. She starts complaining how she can't find anything in her purse. Her phone is in her jacket pocket. Where she put it 30 seconds ago.
I give up on help and carry both kids through another door. I drop my sweater in the parking lot and risk all of our lives retrieving it by squatting down in the dark near the entrance from the road.
I somehow manage to toss both girls into their car seats and placate them with milk before buckling them in.
I start the car.
By now, my mom has returned and finished her last phone call of the 22 minutes since we entered the exam room.
I'd like to note there was no emergency.
But she's been pretty helpful the rest of the week, notably babysitting the (sleeping) girls for 3 hrs last night so I could go out to dinner in Chris's absence, so I'm pretty much over Tuesday night now. And now I know - solo doctor's visit = stroller.